The current legal problems of the 45th ex-President in 2023-2024 are beyond the scope and non-political policy of this writer but the Donald had faced setbacks in the past and so far has survived attacks by his enemies, former lawyers, and even a relative by birth.
Therefore the treatment of the Pride of Queens’ in the 1991 book by author Lewis Grizzard (LG) (Villard Books-NYC) “You Can’t Boogie Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll” is still timely in the ex-pres’ efforts to stay out of jail, fight off fellow Republican challengers, and regain occupancy of the Oval Office as President No. 47 in November 2024.
In a scholarly chapter, “Trumped-Up Tale,” the celebrity from NYC was confronted with a prior financial shortfall that was reported by LG in his usual accurate and correct journalism style:
"Donald Trump's chief accountant, Fillmore, sat down in The Donald's plush office.
"What is it this time, Filbert?" asked The Donald.
"It's Fillmore," said the accountant.
"Details. What do you need to see me about?"
"I have some bad news for you, sir."
"What is it, Philpot?"
"We're out of cash, sir."
"What do you mean, 'We're out of cash, sir'?"
"I mean just what I said we don't have any money."
"Well, you idiot, call the bank and arrange for them to send some over."
"I've already tried that, Mr. Trump. The bank won't loan us any more money until we've paid back what we already owe them."
"Pay them back, Fennimore?"
"Yes, sir. That's how banks make their money. They loan money to you, and then you pay it back with interest."
"I always wondered how that worked. Well, there's another solution. Sell off some real estate."
"I'm afraid that's impossible, sir. The real estate market is very soft, and there's the matter of your pending divorce. The court would likely stop us from selling off anything until your settlement with Mrs. Trump is completed."
"What else could we do?"
"May I be perfectly frank, sir?"
"You can be anything you want to be as long as you know the art of the deal."
"What I mean, sir, is, can I be completely truthful?"
"Certainly, Frank."
"There's nothing you can do. You're finished. You're tapped out. It's Negative Cash Flow City."
"But how could this happen?"
"It was your extravagance and greed, sir."
"Extravagance and greed?"
"Like the time you spent and I have the exact figures here with me $17,478.66 to fly to Rio with Miss M for dinner."
"That much? But we didn't even have dessert. Okay, so that's a little extravagant but I've never been greedy."
"I beg to differ, Mr. Trump. Remember when you tried to buy New Hampshire?"
"But I've always wanted my own New England state since I was a little boy."
"Yes, and if the deal had come through, you were going to make everybody in New Hampshire move to lowa so you would have some privacy."
"I forget why that deal didn't come through."
"You decided to spend the money on your hotel and casino in Atlantic City."
"How's that doing, Finneman?"
"Snake eyes."
"No matter, Finkelstein, I've still got a good woman to stand by my side during the hard times." "Not anymore, sir."
"You mean M has...?"
"Her exact words were, 'I don't do ex-billionaires.' But there is some good news, sir."
"What is it, Phinezy?"
"There is a concerted effort in this country to do something about the homeless. I'm certain they'll have shelter for you within the month."
"I'm a street person?"
"You start in the morning at eight. Good-bye, Mr. Frump."
(Any similarity between the “cat with 29 lives” and his present legal predicaments are purely coincidental!)
PS: Please don’t send any negative or positive responses or comments from the local, state, or national Elephant (GOP) or Donkey (Dem.) parties!
* * *
You can reach Jerry Summers at jsummers@summersfirm.com
Jerry Summers