Perhaps you are familiar with David Brainerd (1718-1747), faithful missionary to the Delaware Indians. I have pasted below his January 1, 1746 journal entry written when he was 28 years old. It is sobering and convicting and encouraging to me and I suspect that it will be to you also. He was orphaned at the age of fourteen and would die from tuberculosis 22 months after this journal entry. Brainerd died in the home of Jonathan Edwards, who published Brainerd’s journal.
"Wednesday, Jan. 1, 1746. I am this day beginning a new year; and God has carried me through numerous trials and labours in the past. He has amazingly supported my feeble frame; for 'having obtained help of God, I continue to this day.' O that I might live nearer to God this year than I did the last! The business to which I have been called, and which I have been enabled to go through, I know, has been as great as nature could bear up under, and what would have sunk and overcome me quite, without special support. But alas, alas! though I have done the labours, and endured the trials, with what spirit have I done the one, and borne the other? how cold has been the frame of my heart oftentimes! and how little have I sensibly eyed the glory of God, in all my doings and sufferings! I have found that I could have no peace without filling up all my time with labours; and thus 'necessity has been laid upon me;' yea, in that respect, I have loved to labour: but the misery is, I could not sensibly labour for God, as I would have done. May I for the future be enabled more sensibly to make the glory of God my all!" (emphasis mine)
What better way to enter the new year than to examine the condition of our own hearts. O’ that we might live nearer to God this year than we have in the past. We cannot live nearer to Him unless we examine our attitudes, motives, and actions in regard to seeking glory. The coming year will be a success in every way if we purpose to live nearer to God this year than last and if we make an honest assessment of just exactly whose glory we seek. Can you feel the anguish in Brainerd’s heart as he confesses that even though he had labored in service to God, he had not been totally seeking the glory of God alone? Can any one of us pass that evaluation any better than Brainerd did? Brainerd concluded that he had faithfully endured the trials of missionary life to the Indians but that he had not totally focused on making sure that God alone received all the glory. May God have mercy on us all.
Brainerd has identified one of the great truths of the Christian life. It is extremely difficult for us to serve the Lord without also seeking our own glory. However, it is important that we strive to eliminate that trait from our attitudes and our behavior. God will not share His glory with you or me. Isaiah 42:8 plainly states, “I am the Lord, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another.” (NASU) We will live much nearer to God in 2017 and following if we will regularly and consistently pray as Brainerd did on New Year’s Day 1746, “ May I for the future be enabled more sensibly to make the glory of God my all!”