Roy Exum
In the span of a person’s life, there are some things that simply can’t be explained to be totally understood. And of all the spectacles I have ever personally witnessed, one of the best is that day in late July when they “pen the ponies” at Chincoteague Island, Va. I’m serious. Over 50,000 people watch every year as volunteer “Saltwater Cowboys” swim the wild ponies to the mainland to thin the herd of the feral horses that live on the island and it’s about as grand as watching the President be inaugurated and decidedly more fun.
Some of the ponies are sold for as much as $10,000, before the others swim back across the channel to Assateague Island, where they actually live. The swim lasts five or 10 minutes, and helping hands in nearby boats help any foals or weak horses if they need it. The ponies are thought to be descendants of animals from wrecked Spanish galleons in the 17th century.
It’s a great event and when the ponies are auctioned, the crowd goes crazy when the announcer calls “Buy back!,” which signals that, yes, somebody has bought the pony and will pay the due amount, but that the animal will be returned to the herd, will swim back to Assateague Island, and can never be sold again. It’s really heady stuff.
For the record, Assateague Island is protected by the National Park Service and they’ve been penning the ponies since 1835. In 1924 they began to sell enough ponies to thin the herd with all proceeds going to the island’s Fire Department and, trust me, it is a weekend of Americana merriment that is unequaled by any other event.
The reason I bring it up is because it has just been learned that “Surfer Dude,” maybe the most beloved Chincoteague pony since the legendary Misty, has just been found dead on the south end of Assateague Island. “Surfer Dude” was such a crowd favorite that in the first 48 hours there were over 51,000 views on the Fire Department’s Facebook page. The beautiful animal was 23 years old and died from natural causes.
Bobby Lappin, the Pony Committee chairman, said that a six-year-old stallion, Riptide, has taken over his dad’s herd of about 10 to 12 mares. What’s neat about that is that Riptide has an identical flaxen mane and tail over a chocolate body just like Surfer Dude and has the personality of his sire.
That said, here’s some other stuff you need to know:
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THE DAVID LETTERMAN send-off on Wednesday, celebrating the many years our “Late Night” host has shared his laughter with was wonderful and kudos to whichever genius it was who got 10 celebrities to present, “The Top Ten Things I’ve Always Wanted To Say to Dave.” In case you missed it, here they are:
10. Alec Baldwin: "Of all the talk shows, yours was the most geographically convenient to my home."
9. Barbara Walters: "Did you know you wear the same cologne as Moammar Gadhafi?"
8. Steve Martin: "Your extensive plastic surgery was a necessity and a mistake."
7. Jerry Seinfeld: "I have no idea what I'll do when you go off the air. You know, I just thought of something. I'll be fine."
6. Jim Carrey: "Honestly, Dave, I've always found you to be a bit of an over-actor."
5. Chris Rock: "I'm just glad your show is being given to a white guy."
4. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale."
3. Peyton Manning: "You are to comedy what I am to ... comedy."
2. Tina Fey: "Thanks for finally proving men can be funny."
1. Bill Murray: "Dave, I'll never have the money I owe you."
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OH, PLEASE! – Nashville television station WSMV has uncovered the biggest insult to the citizens of Tennessee in this century. Some wizard decided that the state logo needed to be changed, that the flag and stars you see connected with everything from the governor’s stationery to a salt-truck decal should be re-designed.
As if that wasn’t a big enough problem in the day of “Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke,” the most damning moment in Governor Bill Haslam’s administration comes when we learn some genius in Nashville commissioned an alleged group of modern-day pirates at the advertising and marketing agency GS&F in Nashville to design the new logo for – hold your breath -- $46,000.
What the taxpayers got in return is a red square … that's right, a postage-stamp square with the letters “TN” over a bar-type line. As Chris Butler of watchdog.org cried aghast, “This is something a fifth-grader could easily produce on his or her computer at home!”
As a spokesperson in Governor Haslam’s office said, “This will give us a united look.” And he’s right – everybody within the boundaries of the state looks like an idiot for allowing such an insult to our intelligence stand and, when you talk about unnecessary spending, this is absolutely over the top.
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WHAT ARE THEY? – The State Judiciary Committee in Michigan has just voted unanimously to recommend the word “policewoman” be dropped as a Michigan State Police title. So what now? In this age of unisex ridiculousness, is everybody now a “policeman,” or a “Policebody?” I am serious. What do you call a female member of the force? The word “Police” – worldwide -- recognizes a total group in our language. Are they a “police lady?” Do we now have a “Police M” and a “Police F?” Stay tuned and, remember, no one on earth can make this stuff up.
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AN OLDER MOUSE – Disneyland, the wonderful theme park in Anaheim, Calif., is celebrating its 60th birthday this weekend and what a tribute it is to generations of Disney geniuses that in each of the years past, the park itself has gotten better and better.
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“SWEET HOME ALABAMA” – It is bad enough that Alabama’s football team currently has an eight-game winning streak over Tennessee so no wonder UT coach Butch Jones went berserk on the first day of the Vols’ spring practice when the song “Sweet Home Alabama” drifted through the air.
It seems some kid at the nearby baseball stadium was grooving to the iconic guitar riff of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s band when Jones recognized the tune and his eyes bulged. “Why would we have that playing at Tennessee?” the coach yelled. “Do you think you could go to Alabama and they sing ‘Rocky Top’? That’s embarrassing. Are we not at Tennessee?”
When it was learned the music was coming from the baseball complex, Jones ordered an underling, “Run over there and tell them don’t play that (stuff) here!”
Some claim the kid who played the song may be in the Witness Protection Program.
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royexum@aol.com
The State of Tennessee allegedly paid a Nashville advertising agency $46,000 to design what will be the state's new official logo.