Roy Exum
Gee whiz! It is the first day of October and in my monthly stroll in the garden, searching for the good and bad, the mums from Linda’s Produce in East Ridge dominate all else. There are some early leaves that have fallen, in prelude to nighttime temperatures of 50 degrees this weekend. Since this is the month of Halloween, which always falls on Oct. 31 (it’s a Saturday this year), there is a bit of history that goes with the tradition.
The ancient Celts, who long ago celebrated the New Year on Nov.
1, believed that the souls of the dead returned to Earth the night before. Soon that ran afoul of the church so All Saints Day was moved to Nov. 1. It was called “Allhallowmas” centuries ago, since “hallow” meant “holy” or “Holy person.” In England, even today, Nov. 1 is called All Hallows Day. (Don’t laugh, we’ve all stood on “hallowed ground” one time or another, right?)
Thus, the day before Nov. 1 is All Hallows Eve, which in American-speak quickly became Halloween. In keeping with Trick or Treat, let’s look to see what we can find on this first morning of October:
A TREAT to the Internet search engine Google, which celebrated a youthful 17th birthday last Sunday. Today it is the third richest plum in the world with a worth of $367.6 billion (with a ‘b’). Who is No. 1? That would be Apple, followed by Microsoft. Coca-Cola is fourth and IBM is fifth.
A TRICK to the retiring Speaker of the House, John Boehner. I say good riddance, since he’s the man who refused to call a bill strengthening anti-soring measures of Tennessee Walking Horses for a vote during the last session of Congress. No wonder conservatives listening to Marco Rubio cheered when they learned he would be gone in October.
A TREAT to Todd Bachman of Ohio who, as he walked his biological daughter down the aisle last weekend, suddenly stopped, rushed to where her step-father Todd Cendrosky was sitting and grabbed his arm. “He told me, 'You worked as hard as I have. You'll help us walk our daughter down the aisle,'" Cendrosky said later. "I got weak in the knees and lost it. Nothing better in my life, the most impactful moment in my life." (Don’t you wish all divorced families could follow such an example?)
A TRICK to the fact police in Merrimack, New Hampshire, have two dedicated parking spaces in front of the police department to provide civil child-custody exchanges. The spaces are monitored around the clock and if either estranged party gets loud, abusive, or rowdy, that person is immediately taken to jail.
A TREAT to the obvious fact the United Auto Workers union is being slaughtered. Fiat-Chrysler have just voted overwhelmingly against ratifying a four-year deal with the union and, in Toledo, 87 percent of production workers and 80 percent of skilled-trade workers where jeep Wrangler and Jeep Cherokee voted against the contract in the largest margin of defeat that has been seen. Good luck bargaining with GM and Ford.
A TRICK to the ridiculous “bike lanes” some moron decided should replace parking spaces in downtown Chattanooga. I’m all for supporting bicycles but this is a prime example of catering to a very small segment of our community at the expense of everybody who drives a car.
A TREAT to the University of Georgia after a football player from visiting Southern University suffered a spinal injury in Athens last weekend. The Bulldog athletic department, led by wonderful Greg McGarity, immediately dispatched an airplane to pick up Devon Gales’ parents in Louisiana and fly them to Athens to be with their son. When they arrived, athletic department personnel rushed them to the hospital and have catered to their every need since in one of the classiest sports stories in years. Gales, who fractured his neck while trying to make a block, has been visited by Bulldog coach Mark Richt several times and many of the Georgia football players since the accident. Further, when the accident occurred Georgia’s world-class medical team for athletics led by Ron Courson, immediately took over at Southern’s request and has actively cared for the player ever since. Sportsmanship has never been better.
A TRICK to me when, writing a plea that all of us should get flu vaccines, failed to mention infants over six months should get them and that anyone who has contact with infants less than one year old should get a pertussis vaccine, which prevents whooping cough. Please check with your physician about other special-needs vaccines that are readily available. People who are 65 and older need a different type of flu shot – make sure you request it.
A TREAT to the fact common sense is flowing back into the Volkswagen scandal. People who are driving VW products are blessed with a great cars and, as a longtime fan of diesel engines, a simple recall can fix the idiotic software that controls emissions. Further, Volkswagen will sort out its mess and will take the proper steps to assure us nothing like this will ever happen again.
A TRICK to the fact SMU basketball coach Larry Brown has been found cheating, this made worse by the fact Brown was caught cheating at UCLA and at Kansas is two huge cases. Because of Brown’s flagrant behavior, UCLA had to vacate a Final Four appearance in 1980 and Kansas was banned from the 1988 tournament. Now SMU is banned from post-season play.
A TREAT to the life of Yogi Berra, who was buried on Tuesday. At the funeral, Joe Torre got it right when he said in the eulogy, “He was so good, so honest, so human and so real, you didn’t need to be a baseball fan to know who Yogi was.”
A TRICK to the fool at the Rocky Mountain State Park in Colorado who walked up to an elk to take a “selfie” with the animal. The elk, hardly amused, antlered the guy high in the air and, from his hospital bed, the “selfie” photographer acknowledged it was a very bad mistake. Be careful anytime you are around a wild animal.
A TREAT for a bit of wisdom from Albert Einstein (1879-1955): “The search for the truth is more precious than its possession.”
A TRICK to the trashy women in a Michigan coffee shop who called Dianne Hoffmeyer a “whale” and whispered other insults as they stood in line. The truth is Dianne has just shed 177 pounds after a diagnosis of congestive heart failure but Dianne handled it just right: with her impressionable daughter watching, Dianne promptly bought the evil women’s coffee, inwardly delighting at their dismay. As word of her actions went viral, she’s gotten over 94,000 friend requests on Facebook and over 164,000 “likes.” One of her subsequent posts read, “Just when you think there’s no one nice in the world, they are all on my Facebook page.”
A TREAT to Congressman Trey Gowdy, who is heading the Select Committee on Benghazi. After being told there were no Hillary Clinton emails relating to the night of terror, the State Department has since told him that they found a small amount, described a “handful.” Since then 925 have been delivered. Mrs. Clinton will appear before the Benghazi committee in late October.
A TRICK to the fact “hands and feet” killed twice as many people in 2014 than all rifles combined, including all assault rifles. There were 248 murders by rifles, this according to statistics just released by the FBI, and 660 by people’s hands and feet. How, pray tell, are we going to outlaw our own appendages?
A TREAT to Beth Van Duyne, the mayor of Irving, Texas, who is not buying into the sensationalism of 14-year-old Ahmed Mohamed after the homemade clock he built and brought to school got him arrested. “In my own conversations with the police is that he was not forthcoming with information, but I just think common sense prevails,” Mayor Duyne told reporters. ‘”Does it make sense? And if not, why? He told a lot more to the reporters than he ever told to the police. There’s a problem with that.”
royexum@aol.com
September 30, 2015