As the first day of November arrives today, it is cold enough in my garden to officially certify that fall has fell! There are even signs of ice on the ground but there is a bounty crop of acorns so, in keeping with our monthly tradition, some will get shiny acorns and others will get a chunk of cold ice:
A SHINY ACORN for Patriots football coach Bill Belichick for scoffing at weather forecasts that call for gusty winds when his New England team faces the Broncos on Sunday. Turns out the coach is not a big fan of weathermen. “If I did my job the way they do theirs, I’d be here about a week,” Belichick said on Friday. “I’m not saying I could do it better than them, I’m just saying they’re wrong a lot. That’s a fact. They are wrong a lot. We all make mistakes. I’m not being critical of them. I’m just saying I don’t think you go based on that.”
A CHUNK OF ICE for the startling fact there are many more weddings in Alabama on certain Saturdays during the fall when the Crimson Tide football team has an off week, as the team is today. What a splendid definition of true love!
A SHINY ACORN to the people who signed over 100,000 signatures demanding TIME magazine apologize for an offensive cover story calling for the “bad apples” in the teaching profession to be smashed. Said one teacher, “We’re trying to teach kids to have respective, civil discourse with others. So when they see a cover that smashes teachers, what is that teaching kids?”
A CHUNK OF ICE to the Maine nurse who is taking a defiant stance in a sensible attempt to quarantine her after she helped treat those suffering from the disease. Kaci Hickox has been ordered to stay away from people and not get within three feet of anybody. She claims she has not tested positive and that her civil rights have been violated. Common sense tells us to veer on the side of caution.
A SHINY ACORN to the health tip that comes as we push our clocks back an hour tonight in a return to Standard Time. “Wake up like your normally do, not according to the clock. Your body clock will adjust on its own,” promises sleep disorders expert Dr. Yosef Krespi, who adds sleeping the extra hour will leave you out-of-sorts for a day or two. “Exercise instead.”
A CHUNK OF ICE to Edwin Henderson, an alleged drug dealer in Prattville, Ala., who ran from police and then hid in tall grass in an effort to escape. A policeman looked at Henderson’s dog, Bo, and told the dog to find its master. Bo immediately pranced through the undergrowth and, when the dog furiously wagged his tail, the cops had their man.
A SHINY ACORN to the guy who found the best substitute for “body fluids” while training Haz-Mat workers the proper way to handle those stricken with Ebola or other diseases is good ole Tabasco Sauce. If a worker touches Tabasco sauce while removing their protective gear, they can immediately feel the chemical capsaicin on their skin and, please, don’t dare rub your eyes or your mouth. It is a powerful teaching tool!
A CHUNK OF ICE to commentator Rush Limbaugh who made light of the video that shows a pretty girl being insulted with jeers and catcalls while walking in New York. “You see a pretty girl and you react to it,” he said, explaining he loves the women’s movement “especially when walking behind it." We expect people to have more class than that.
A SHINY ACORN to the revelation Americans spend more on Halloween ($7.4 billion) than midterm political races ($4 billion.) Of course, Halloween’s figure is boosted by $2.2 billion in candy.
A CHUNK OF ICE to the guy who bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The very next day someone stole it.
A SHINY ACORN to the London cab driver who is a quick thinker. It seems that after a devout Muslim entered his cab, he curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because, as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel. The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door. The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing?" The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so get your butt out and wait for a camel."
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