Roy Exum: Girls - ‘I Can And I Will’

  • Sunday, August 28, 2016
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Every night after the Rodriguez girls went to sleep not that long ago in a grim, rat-infested basement apartment on Chicago’s South Side, their father – a boxing referee who came to America from Puerto Rico -- would kneel beside the girls’ bed and whisper in each child’s ear. Their parents made them sleep hot-dog style, tightly wrapped in the same sheet and pressed together to protect against the huge rats the size of footballs that skittered across the floor all night.

Yet never failing for 20 years, Gino would whisper the same five words to each of his three daughters. “I can and I will.” Sometimes the girls would stir, make a face even, but every night Gino would whisper into each one’s subconscious – “I can and I will.” His belief was that you talk to the subconscious. “You don’t talk to the conscious … the subconscious is the one that really listens.”

Oh, there was more than that, as a marvelous article “The Secrets of Super Siblings” reveals in the latest issue of TIME magazine. Every morning before school the girls did jumping-jacks exercises while looking in a mirror to the chant of “Today will be a great day! I can and I will!”

Their dad took them to the boxing gym where he worked – to make sure they were safe – and not only did each learn how to block a punch but also how to throw a mean right hook, revealed the TIME article that highlighted the children of nine families who “all went on to extraordinary success” and what they all have in common.

Charlotte Alter’s article this week, mind you, is a treasure and, as we enjoy this last Sunday of the month, I believe it is important that we keep more than a glancing eye on families like the Rodriguez girls, who -- for what it’s worth – are each blessed with such a beaming countenance any of them could appear on the cover of a glamour magazine.

As the writer Alter notes: “While none of these (sets of nine) siblings grew up rich, they were privileged in many other ways. They had involved parents and lots of opportunities, and most saw college as an achievement, even inevitable.”

The article continued, “They weren’t abused or neglected, and none grew up in abject want. They didn’t have an unfair head start, but they were spared some of the most difficult obstacles faced by less fortunate kids.”

Football-sized rats notwithstanding, a father’s gentle whisper – “I Can and I Will” – molded the Rodriguez girls into what each is today: Ivelisse Rodriguez Simon, who graduated from Harvard Business School – is a partner in a highly-successful private-equity firm. Dr. Rebecca Rodriquez, board-certified in internal medicine and pediatrics, is the medical director for one of the most highly-regarded family-health clinics in the country.

And Gina, who won a Golden Globe for “Best Actress” in ‘Jane the Virgin,’ told TIME: “We lived the idea of The American Dream. And (our parents) made an environment where that was possible.”

The other eight families are equally as pronounced. The Wojcicki girls, another example, grew up on Stanford’s campus, where their Pop was chairman of the Department of Physics. So Susan, Janet and Anne got used to talking – and arguing – about theoretical physics at an early age, even taunting their dad’s buddies when family vacations would inevitably be wherever there was some educational conference being held. Seems it paid off: Susan is the CEO of a website called YouTube, M.D. Janet is a professor of pediatrics and epidemiology at the University of California and Anne is the co-founder and CEO of the genetics company, 23andMe. Said their mother: “My theory was that the most important years are 0-to-5. It was a gut feeling so I made everything into a game.”

Then there are the Emanuel boys, who loved to fist fight with each other growing up. They fought over everything, especially opinions. Said one, “If there wasn’t any blood, it was a good night.” Since then they’ve been called “the Jewish Kennedys.” But, back in the day, that’s wasn’t a good thing. “We were called a lot of names as kids, and we had to withstand that and go on. That breeds to a certain kind of toughness.”

Who are they? Zeke, a bioethicist, is Vice Provost at the University of Pennsylvania after serving in the Obama administration and helping form the Affordable Care Act; Rahm is the Mayor of Chicago after serving as Obama’s Chief of Staff; and Ari created William Morris Endeavor, one of the best and largest talent agencies in Hollywood.

I got a big kick out of finding out about the Srinivasan siblings, too. Coming directly from India, they knew no one in America when the father, T.P., was hired in the math department at the University of Kansas. “We made a conscious decision since we were different enough, we should do everything to make our children part of the community,” said mother Saroja, both a Hindu and vegetarian who immediately became the best in town at making a cheeseburger.

The three children had no chores – with the idea of -- if less is required more is expected. As the youngest daughter Srinija explained, “It was more like ‘Look around? What’s mom doing? Does she need help? Put things away. Pay attention.”

And how about this? According to the article: “Nobody got an allowance. Instead, a drawer in the living-room table contained petty cash for anyone to use. ‘On one hand, it meant greater permissiveness that is way better than allowance,’ says Srinija. ‘On the other hand, responsibility for every choice.’ Her older sister Srinija put it this way: ‘If I took $20 that meant Sri and Srinija couldn’t go to the movies.’”

Today Sri has grown to sit as a Justice on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. circuit (his name was actually mentioned earlier this year as a Supreme Court candidate); Syria is the interim Deputy Chief for the San Mateo County Health System (which includes some 700,000 Americans) and Srinija, an entrepreneur who was the fifth employee hired by Yahoo, sits on the board at Stanford University.

I just love stories like this. On the cover of this week’s TIME are the words, “Ordinary Families – Extraordinary Kids.” It proves what we all know – the one thing every person of greatness shares in common is that not a one was great in the beginning. Again the TIME article is a treasure and all of us should take its words, and its message, to heart.

Believe it or not, the writer Alter concluded after talking to the siblings of all nine families, “Most recall a conflict-heavy family life, but the conflict was rarely between parents. Many had a strong awareness of mortality as children. And most said they grew up with much more freedom than their friends did.”

The best lesson in the entire article? Listen to boxing referee Gino Rodrigues, the “I Can and I Will” whisperer: “You cannot reach anybody’s goal. You must reach your own goal. You cannot reach a goal unless you set that goal for yourself. That’s why ‘I can and I will’ are five words without an object, a push without a direction. Look how far it took them.”

The next time you spot a child with a longing look, perhaps you might whisper, “You can and you will.”

royexum@aol.com

 

 

 

 

Latest Headlines
Opinion
Democratic View On Top State Senate Issues - March 18, 2024
  • 3/18/2024

Campbell bill seeks to save lives by studying suicide trends in Tennessee 3 p.m. Senate Regular Calendar — SB 1787 , by Sen. Heidi Campbell, would require state health officials to produce ... more

The Odor Of Mendacity - And Response (2)
  • 3/16/2024

The Fulton County judge, Scott McAfee, overseeing the Fani Willis prosecution of Donald Trump and eighteen other defendants has spoken. In response to a motion by defendants to remove Willis ... more

Capitol Report From State Rep. Greg Vital For March 15
  • 3/15/2024

General Assembly confirms new Tennessee State Supreme Justice Members of the General Assembly confirmed the appointment of Mary L. Wagner to the Tennessee Supreme Court in a joint session ... more