posted May 9, 2008
As Mother’s Day approaches this year, I have an entirely new perspective about the value of a mother. Little over a month ago, my Grandmother, the standing Matriarch of my enormous family, was involved in a terrible car wreck- one that likely should have been fatal. But as my grandmother, Virginia (Zachary) McMahan, is an angel on this earth, and God’s plan was not to bring her home yet, she miraculously survived the accident.
During the many worrisome and quite miserable hours I have recently spent in hospital waiting rooms, I have had a lot of time to think and reassess many things. One thing that I realized about the miracle of my grandmother’s survival is that God did not leave her on this earth for her own sake. She has lived her life in an effortlessly faithful and godly manner, and she is truly an amazing example of how (I believe) God intended a human to act and live; and therefore I presume God would be anxious to bring her home. God allowed my grandmother to remain down here for the sake of the rest of us, which truly speaks volumes for her value as a leader, a Mother.
In her own words, while lying in a bed in the Erlanger emergency room only hours after her wreck, she told me, “God said he couldn’t take me yet because I was not finished with all of you.” This is worrisome because she may never be able to go home if she must first complete that job; however, in speaking of her task to look after and guide her own family, she does not realize how far reaching her mothering nature is.
She has been a loving impact on the lives of many, although she never intended to be. She offers a welcome, loving hand to anyone who needs it, without ever asking or wanting anything in return. She does not act because she feels obliged to help others, but because it comes naturally to her. I have never known another to be as godly as she- not because of the way she reads her devotionals every day, or the way she has always been a devout attendee of church services on Sunday mornings- but because I have observed her actions my entire life and watched her welcome countless numbers of people into her home and into her heart.
As a mother faced with more obstacles than most ever have to endure, she worked relentlessly and did everything in her power to provide a loving home for her children. Although their house was never filled with the most expensive toys, clothes, or furniture, none of her children could ever question that they were purely loved, and as a result, my grandmother has raised five successful children, instilling in them the value of love and family.
I so greatly respect my grandmother for the vibrant attitude that she displays throughout her life, even after all of the hardship that she endured while being a single mother and struggling through financial and many worse difficulties. Most women, me probably included, would persevere as much as possible, but still carry along the bitterness and baggage of her struggles with her. Somehow my grandmother manages to face each new day of her life with a positive, loving visage, thinking only of what she can offer to others.
Unlike most mothers, Grandma’s job has never ceased as her kids grew into adulthood. She has been ever present in the lives of each of her many grandchildren as well. The “first phase” (of grandchildren), as we refer to ourselves, consists of ten wild, energetic children, within four years of age, which as anyone can imagine, is continually a chaotic handful. Throughout the years, she has cared for each of us when we were sick, in trouble, or when our parents stole away for vacation; even offering a full-time home to some for a period of time. The next “phase” of grandchildren brought four more youngsters, with whom she has been just as instrumental if not more, in their raising. Through a marriage to Asa (Sonny) McMahan, she gained four more children and many grandchildren, completing our full family circle, and offering her pure, unassuming love to all of us.
Clearly, Grandma deserves gratitude on Mother’s day for all of the vast love and care that she has offered her entire family; but what I believe merits her recognition is the manner in which she takes on a mothering role towards many others, including complete strangers. Grandma was a school teacher, and since I can remember, she cared for children from her classrooms with love and kindness as if she were their parent. She has befriended and cared for so many other women as well, lending money (she did not have), time, and simply kind words to help them along in their lives. She has truly become a mother and grandmother figure to many people who have no true blood relation to our family.
Even as she still remains in the hospital and miraculously maintains a purely positive and loving spirit, she directs her attention toward others. She has continually ordered us to go home and get some sleep, or food. She scolded us for telling my brother about her accident, because she knew that he had a test that morning. While clearly in excruciating pain and discomfort, her worry was not for herself, but for her family. Her main concern in the past few days has been that her nurse was planning to be out for a minor surgery; she sent me to buy her nurse a small gift and card to thank her for all she had been doing, and to offer love and hope in her recovery.
While in her fifth week of recover in different hospital beds, her only thought is of everyone else. Only due to the extreme circumstances of her recent state of being has my family truly remembered how blessed we are to be led by this amazing, strong woman. Regretfully, it is easy to take for granted those who have always been present in one’s life; however, I realize now, especially during the infinite amount of family time we have enjoyed of late, that none of us would be who we are without the deep influence of my grandmother’s love. Although I realize this more consciously now than ever, my grandmother has always been the true example of a mother.
Kirby Waddell
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