In the month of love, fewer things are more enjoyable than knowing you are respected and appreciated. Throughout February and the rest of your life, avoid the words that can stifle effective stimulation during effective communication. These words are featured in the book, “Lead Out Loud: Keys to Unlock Your Professional Excellence!” are called, Fire Terms: words or phrases that can increase defensiveness.
1. But
“But” cancels out everything that was said before it and tells that person that the speaker only cares about what came after it. For example, if you said to someone, “I hear your point, but,” What you are really saying is, “I did not hear your point. In fact I probably didn’t listen to all of it. What I think is important is my own idea.” Imagine if someone you cared about told you, “I love you, but…”
2. Never
“Never” makes an unconditional and unqualified statement. Few things are so definite that they will never happen. It will only take one instance to prove a “never” statement wrong. It makes it seem like you exaggerate and it reduces your credibility.
3. Basically
“Basically” is a filer word that is often substituted for, “yes”. If it is, “yes”, just say “yes”. Using basically can make you seem indecisive or as if there is additional information being left out.
Whether in the living room or the board room, avoid these and other Fire Terms to amplify the stimulation of communication.