Roy Exum: Two Hours On A School Bus

Monday, August 7, 2017 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

As Hamilton County public school get back in business on Thursday morning, the focus should be on learning as we should all agree. Due to a lack of education by actual educators, some students must be at the bus stop at 5:30 a.m. this fall and this is wrong. The same children will spend over two hours a day riding the bus, this in Hamilton County. As one of my ‘friends’ just wrote on Facebook:

“If the delivery man is an hour late, people get disgusted. If some sit in the waiting room an hour past their once-a-year doctor’s appointment, they have a conniption (fit). But it’s normal for kids that live just a few miles from school to be expected to ride on a school bus for hours every day.

So much so that parents just quietly accept it and wait in long lines idling their vehicles as they patiently wait to pick up their kids to avoid the buses. Doctors and delivery men are expected to be innovative and efficient. Schools, not so much. And that's more a reflection on us than them.”

Granted, a 92-pupil school bus is ‘efficient’ when it is full, but would it be ‘innovative’ for teachers who live in certain areas to be paid a daily stipend (per child) to pick up students rather than subject them to a lengthy bus ride? I can’t help but believe we can come up with a better solution than a 5:30 a.m. pickup for school children.

Some children drop out of school when subjected to unnecessary hardships and to get a job they must take what is called a GED exam to obtain a “graduate equivalency diploma.” Without one you cannot work or join the Armed Services (where, incidentally, many of the very best lessons for teenagers are taught.)

To illustrated how hard the GED exam is, and to show what can befall some students who wait in the dark at 5:30 in the morning for the yellow bus, I have obtained some sample GED questions and actual answers that were given at the same time these people registered to vote.

* * *


WHY SOME TEACHERS BECOME ALCOHOLICS

 

Q. NAME THE FOUR SEASONS.

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. HOW IS DEW FORMED?

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. WHAT IS ONE GUARANTEE A MORTGAGE COMPANY MAY REQUIRE:

A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. IN A DEMOCRATIC SOCIETY, HOW IMPORTANT ARE ELECTIONS

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. WHAT ARE STEROIDS?

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)

Q. WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR BODY AS YOU AGE?

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. WHAT HAPPENS TO A BOY WHEN HE REACHES PUBERTY?

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. NAME A MAJOR DISEASE ASSOCIATED WITH CIGARETTES

A. Premature death

Q. WHAT IS ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION?

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. HOW CAN YOU DELAY MILK FROM GETTING SOUR?

A.. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. HOW ARE THE MAIN 20 PARTS OF THE BODY CATAGORIZED (I.E. THE ABDOMEN)?

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U

Q. WHAT IS THE FIBULA?

A. A small lie

Q. WHAT DOES ‘VARICOSE’ MEAN?

A. Nearby

Q. WHAT IS THE MOST COMON FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL?

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work)

Q. GIVE THE MEANING OF THE TERM ‘CAESAREAN SECTION’

A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. WHAT IS A SEIZURE?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. WHAT IS A TERMINAL ILLNESS?

A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. WHAT DOES THE WORD ‘BENIGN’ MEAN?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. WHAT IS A TURBINE?

A.. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head. (now we’re getting somewhere)

* * *

MORAL OF THE STORY? Never allow any child to ride two hours or more on a school bus.

royexum@aol.com



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