Roy Exum
Randy Travis, one of the best at singing country songs that has ever been, had a song about three people who got killed when an 18-wheeler missed a stop sign. There was a farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher on this bus and Randy tells us: “One's headed for vacation, one for higher education, An' two of them were searchin' for lost souls.”
In that wonderful song, the signature line that ended each verse of “Three Wooden Crosses” is one I have sung along with my loud iPod at least a hundred times: “It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go.”
I’ll declare if that’s not the living truth. According to the song, “That farmer left a harvest, a home and eighty acres, The faith an' love for growin' things in his young son's heart. An' that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children: Did her best to give 'em all a better start. An' that preacher whispered: "Can't you see the Promised Land?" as he laid his blood-stained Bible in that hooker's hand ...”
“There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway,” Randy and I sing often. “Why there's not four of them, Heaven only knows.”
Well, sir, the kicker is towards the end of the song, so we can all understand its puzzle. “That's the story that our preacher told last Sunday, as he held that blood-stained Bible up, for all of us to see. He said: "Bless the farmer, and the teacher, an' the preacher; who gave this Bible to my mamma … who read it to me!" (Glory!)
“There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway, why there's not four of them, now I guess we know. It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go.”
Just so happens that Randy Travis and I sang that song again together yesterday as it mysteriously came up on my iPod. I turn it up loud every morning and sing all sorts of music as I begin my day. But when I sang “Three Wooden Crosses” yesterday, Pat Summitt was heavy on my mind after dying just hours before.
My golly goodness, can you imagine in your wildest dreams how much the legendary basketball coach leaves behind? Hundreds of her girls became coaches, passing along Pat’s wisdom, and millions of girls everywhere embraced the fact that they could win, and win big, too.
So let me tell you what she left for each one of us. Every person in the Lady Vols’ basketball program during the 38 years Tennessee never had a losing season, had to know, by heart, Pat Summitt’s “Definite Dozen. As she said, “We require each member of our Lady Vol basketball team to know our ‘Definite Dozen’ and commit to honoring each one. If you will use this ‘Definite Dozen’ as a guideline for everyday living, you will not only become a better basketball player, but a better person.”
A reader reminded me yesterday that she keeps a copy posted where she can see it every day. Here is your copy of Pat’s guaranteed belief that even the average folks like me can be a better person. And this will work for anybody:
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THE DEFINITE DOZEN
By Pat Summitt
RESPECT YOUR SELF AND OTHERS -- There is no such thing as self-respect without respect for others. Individual success is a myth. No one succeeds all by themselves. People who do not respect those around them will not make good team members and probably lack self-esteem themselves. When you ask yourself, “Do I deserve to succeed?” make sure the answer is yes.
TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY -- There are no shortcuts to success. You can’t assume larger responsibility without taking responsibility for the small things, too. Being responsible sometimes means making tough, unpopular decisions. Admit to and make yourself accountable for mistakes. How can you improve if you’re never wrong?
DEVELOP AND DEMONSTRATE LOYALTY -- Loyalty is not unilateral. You have to give it to receive it. The family business model is a successful one because it fosters loyalty and trust. Surround yourself with people who are better than you are. Seek out quality people, acknowledge their talents, and let them do their jobs. You win with people.
LEARN TO BE A GREAT COMMUNICATOR -- Communication eliminates mistakes. Listening is crucial to good communication. We communicate all the time, even when we don’t realize it. Be aware of body language. Make good eye contact. Silence is a form of communication, too. Sometimes less is more.
DISCIPLINE YOURSELF SO THAT NO ONE ELSE HAS TO -- Self-discipline helps you believe in yourself. Group discipline produces a unified effort toward a common goal. When disciplining others, be fair, be firm, be consistent. Discipline helps you finish a job, and finishing is what separates excellent work from average work.
MAKE HARD WORK YOUR PASSION -- Do the things that aren’t fun first, and do them well. Plan your work, and work your plan. See yourself as self-employed.
DON’T JUST WORK HARD: WORK SMART -- Success is about having the right person, in the right place, at the right time. Know your strengths, weaknesses, and needs. When you understand yourself and those around you, you are better able to minimize weaknesses and maximize strengths. Personality profiles help.
PUT THE TEAM BEFORE YOURSELF -- Teamwork doesn’t come naturally. It must be taught. Teamwork allows common people to obtain uncommon results. Not everyone is born to lead. Role players are critical to group success. In group success there is individual success.
MAKE WINNING AN ATTITUDE -- Combine practice with belief. Attitude is a choice. Maintain a positive outlook. No one ever got anywhere by being negative. Confidence is what happens when you’ve done the hard work that entitles you to succeed.
BE A COMPETITOR -- Competition isn’t social. It separates achievers from the average. You can’t always be the most talented person in the room, but you can be the most competitive. Influence your opponent: By being competitive you can affect how your adversary performs. There is nothing wrong with having competitive instincts. They are survival instincts.
CHANGE IS A MUST -- It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts the most. Change equals self-improvement. Push yourself to places you haven’t been before. Take risks. You can’t steal second base with your foot on first.
HANDLE SUCCESS LIKE YOU HANDLE FAILURE -- You can’t always control what happens, but you can control how you handle it. Sometimes you learn more from losing than winning. Losing forces you to reexamine. It’s harder to stay on top than it is to make the climb. Continue to seek new goals.
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Put a copy of Pat Summitt’s “Definite Dozen” somewhere when you can reach for it from time to time. And never forget the line, “It’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it’s what you leave behind you when you go.”
royexum@aol.com