Roy Exum: My Garden This June

  • Wednesday, June 1, 2016
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

As the month of June dawns anew, it is a fact that more marriages the world over are performed this month. So as we take our monthly walk through the garden, it is hard to remember when it has been this dry. Even so, we have a bushel of orchids and onions and don’t forget Father’s Day on the third Sunday of the month, that this is National Accordion Awareness Month, and that “Flip A Coin Day” is celebrated today. And how is this for a shocker: Had she lived, today would have been Marilyn Monroe’s 90th birthday! Here we go …

AN ORCHID to the graduating class at East Liverpool High School (Ohio) who were told that they must abandon a 70-year-tradition of singing The Lord’s Prayer at the commencement. So in the best-kept secret that caught the school board, parents and faculty totally off-guard, when the valedictorian stepped to give his address, he raised his arms and – instantly -- the whole class rose to recite it. Remember, the school board, at the urging of the Freedom from Religion Foundation, decreed the seniors couldn’t sing the song … so they simply said it, causing a huge standing ovation.

AN ONION to the Craigslist seller in Tampa who sought to sell “a prototype 1960 sports car” for $700. The car, in deplorable condition, didn’t sell but then – when somebody cross-checked the short serial number -- it was discovered it is probably the best known Corvette in history, this after Briggs Cunningham took cars 1, 2, and 3 to 24 Hours at Le Mans. An Indiana car dealer and collector will spend over $500,000 to have the car exquisitely restored and experts believe that after that occurs in a year-long effort, Cunningham No. 1 will be worth a cool $7 million.

AN ORCHID to Mexican soccer star Alan Pulido who was kidnapped for a high ransom over the weekend in Ciudad Victoria, Mexico. Pulido overwhelmed his lone guard, took the thug’s gun and rendered him unconscious. He then used the bad guy’s cell phone to summon help and, as state police opened fire, the 25-year-old sensation who plays for Olympiakos in the Greek league described what he was wearing so he would not get shot.

AN ONION to the fact more and more high school football stars are skipping their senior year in high school to move into the college ranks. In January of 2007 highly-sought Jimmy Clausen was the first to do it as he went to Notre Dame so he could get a jump-start on his college career. This year there are over 250 blue-chip athletes who have left high school early.

AN ORCHID to the fact that on this very day, back in 1796, Tennessee became the 16th state of the United States.

AN ONION to the startling news that last week – in just seven days – an estimated 880 migrants and refugees died trying to cross the Mediterranean Sea. Thus far it is believed 2,510 have drowned since Jan. 1 of 2016, up from 1,855 this time last year.

AN ORCHID to Micah McDade, a senior at Okmulgee High School in Oklahoma who quietly but fervently endured two relentless years of physical therapy, and a complex surgery last August, to make his dream come true. Born with cerebral palsy, he rolled his wheelchair up to the stage at graduation last week, stood up out of his chair, and walked unaided across the stage to accept his diploma. It was the first time anyone in his family or his classmates had ever seen him walk and, of course, there was absolute pandemonium. A tape of Micah’s triumph has been viewed over 500,000 times on YouTube. To watch him do it click HERE.

AN ONION to Phillip Patrick Policarpio who just joined the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted. The Mexican thug – whose aliases are “Bugsy,” “Sinister,” and “Sin” -- allegedly murdered his pregnant girlfriend and unborn baby in April. “Mr. Sinister” was just removed from the FBI list after he was caught crossing into the United States from Tijuana, after spending less than two weeks on the “Top Ten” poster. Since the FBI began the ‘Top Ten” in March of 1950, the G-men has collared 475 of the 508 criminals who has appeared on the list.

AN ORCHID to the “bless-ed” country sayings in the state that today celebrates its 20th birthday: “That woman is so tall if she fell she would be halfway home,” and “She’s so fat her scales read ‘To Be Continued,” and “The boy is so ugly his momma takes him everywhere so he ain’t go to kiss him goodbye,” and, “That table is so heavy it’d take three stout men and a midget to lift it.”

AN ONION to the country of Iran who just caught 30 students celebrating their college graduation. According to professor Esmail Niaraki, he called the authorities after he witnesses half-naked women and dancing with jubilation. Each student as immediately arrested, given 99 lashes apiece, and told to never do it again – this all in the same night.

AN ORCHID to the lovely poem by James Whitcomb Riley:

“Then let us, one and all, be contented with our lot;
The June is here this morning, and the sun is shining hot;
Oh! let us fill our hearts up with the glory of the day,
And banish ev'ry doubt and care and sorrow far away.”

royexum@aol.com

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