I find it amusing when a politician, public official, or public figure gets caught with their hand in the cookie jar, or their hand in someone else's cookie jar (usually a married cookie jar, someone else's money, or bribe). You can count on what comes next in the forced public apology.
1. 'My actions are all in the past (until the next time I think I can get away with it)."
2. "My (husband, wife, girlfriend, mistress) has forgiven me. I've re-dedicated my life to being a better (husband, wife, mother, father, politician, preacher, public servant, coach, CEO, General, Admiral, school superintendent) and we ask you to respect our privacy in this difficult time (as I'm being threatened with divorce, child support, law suits, indictments, prison).
3. "Just to show how sorry I am (that I got caught) let me quote from the Bible (I had to look a verse up in a hurry that makes you think I'm now living at the foot of the cross and Satan caused all my problems and see how many times I can mention Jesus, God, and forgiveness so you'll go 'Aw Shucks' and give me another chance). I also ask for your prayers (anything to keep me out of jail)."
I know some people buy that bull and always will, but use some imagination like you did when you were plotting to get away with your planned indiscretions. It's 2016 and time for new comedic excuses.
That way the kids get a chance to try out new funny excuses just like you, and adults get a new punch line to chuckle over at coffee breaks. Everybody wins.
Stephen Greenfield
Cleveland
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I loved your comedic response. But there are two additional steps the public figure usually takes before saying the actions they are being accused of are in the past. First, they deny whatever they are being accused of with outrage and indignation. Second, they try to go after the whistle-blower with the help of other government officials.
Mike Lynn