Roy Exum
On this April Fool’s Day, as I take my monthly stroll through my virtual garden, there are gorgeous flowers and there are weeds, which appear to be trying harder than the flowers. So let’s see what we find before searching for “The Prize Egg” on Sunday.
A FLOWER to the New York cab driver who told a young writer, “Always remember that everyone you meet knows something that you do not. Listen well.”
A WEED to the fact a recent study by the Good Study consulting group found American males are donating less money than they once did, although volunteerism is greater.
The top charity that men give the most to? Anything involving kids.
A FLOWER to the professor trying to explain the difference between knowledge and wisdom. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in your fruit salad.”
A WEED to the Atlanta Falcons for getting caught piping in crowd noise over the loudspeakers when opposing teams were calling plays. Being that dumb just cost the Birds $350,000 and a fifth-round draft pick. And you actually wonder why they can’t win?
A FLOWER to Mark Kelly, the identical twin of astronaut Scott Kelly, for shaving his tell-tale mustache the morning of the NASA launch last week. NASA Administrator Charles Bolden told Mark on Monday that he almost had a heart attack when his brother showed up launch morning without his usual mustache. "He fooled all of us," Bolden admitted, saying Mark’s mustache was "the only way I can tell you two apart!”
A WEED to me for identifying Hutcheson Hospital as “the former” in a recent story. Farrell Hayes confirms nothing could be further from the truth. “We are alive and kicking!”
A FLOWER to Girls Inc. for honoring an outstanding cast of heroes at the UnBought and UnBossed luncheon on April 23. Women who will be honored are Darlene Boyd, Jo Coke, Amanda Dunn, Dorothy Grisham, Dr. Everlena Holmes, Stacy Lightfoot, Kelly McCarthy, Dr. Molly Seal, Judge Christie Sell, and Amy Walker.
A WEED to the news that my one-time heart throb Jennifer O’Neill, who starred in the 1971 film “The Summer of ’42,” is now 67 years old and has been married nine times to eight different guys. Then again, I’d hope I could get a second chance, too. (She married, divorced, and remarried husband number six, a pop singer named Ricky Barry who once wrote and sang some great songs like ”Da Doo Ron Ron,” “Then He Kissed Me,” and “Leader of the Pack.”)
A FLOWER to the Rolling Stones for including both Atlanta and Nashville on this summer’s concert tour. And if you are counting, both Mick Jagger and Keith Richards are now 71 years old. They befriended one another in 1950 as classmates at Wentworth Primary School in England, having no idea that 12 years later they would hatch “The Rolling Stones.”
A WEED to the critics who are pounding Alabama’s Nick Saban for giving a kid known to batter women a second chance. For Pete’s sake, what better venue than sports to fail yet try again? Okay, Jonathan Taylor got in trouble and got booted, but I hope Saban keeps giving second chances because, when they work, it affects a young man’s life in the right way.
A FLOWER to Jonathan Bricklin, a writer in New York, for his taste in women. Bricklin, age 37, was until recently the beau of Oscar winner Susan Sarandon, age 68. “I've been referred to as her ‘toy boy’ from the very beginning. Strangely, age is not the issue. It's (her) success that creates trouble for me," he says.
A WEED to East High School in Wichita, Kansas, for not allowing Michael Kelley to wear a letter jacket. Michael has Down syndrome and autism and participates in extracurricular special-needs basketball. He is not a varsity player but his mother said, "He's earned the letter just like any other varsity athlete has.” Lolinda Kelley, who adopted Michael when he was a small boy, has just begun to fight!
A FLOWER to the huge Holiday Inn in Florida where, at 11 a.m. every morning during Spring Break, the management plays a blaring rendition of the song “Circle of Life” from the movie, “The Lion King.” The idea is to get the partiers up and moving because beds need changing and towels replaced but the guests love it! It’s a new day! Party on! This is the third year for the rousing wake-up call.
A WEED to Adam Smith, who you will remember pulled into a Chik-fil-A restaurant in Tucson, Arizona, ordered a free glass of water, and haughtily filmed himself as he berated a young server about her company's stated commitment to "traditional marriage." He told her, “I don't know how you live with yourself and work here." His film immediately went viral and by the time he returned to his office his receptionist reportedly told him, “The voicemail is completely full, and it's full of bomb threats.” Here’s an update: He was immediately fired from his $200,000-per-year job. He then moved to Portland and got another job – for just two weeks before they found out who he was. Today he is unemployed, lives in an RV and is on food stamps.
A FLOWER for the mystery surrounding the death of Margarita Suarez, who lived in Cuernavaca Morelos, Mexico, and dedicated her life to feeding and caring for the stray dogs in her neighborhood. Not long ago she died at the age of 71 and the funeral was more than 800 miles away from where her mother lived. Guess what! When her mother’s body arrived at the funeral home, so did six or seven stray dogs. “They stayed with my mother all day, and then at night they all stayed -- but in the morning all the dogs vanished but one, but one hour before we brought my mom to be cremated, the dogs came back and grouped around as if to say goodbye. I swear by God that it was beautiful, marvelous," Margarita’s daughter Patrica said and has the pictures to prove it.
A WEED to the two WalMart employees in West Monroe, La., for following a customer into the women’s restroom and yelling, “Sir … you can’t be in here. Get out!” But, no, Johnna Utzman had just finished eight weeks of chemo therapy after undergoing a double mastectomy. There’s a lesson all of us need to learn.
A FLOWER to the fact our day of hope will be this Sunday, and that through our faiths we find hope. May your Easter be blessed.
royexum@aol.com
Margarita Suarez was well-known in Mexico for her care and feeding of stray dogs and cats. When she died after a lengthy illness, the funeral was held 800 miles from where she lived. Unbelievably, a pack of stray dogs showed at at the funeral home, stayed with the body until after the funeral, and then disappeared.