Roy Exum
As the fallen leaves confirm today is the first of December, my monthly walk in life’s garden is more foggy than fun. In much-older times, good children would get a piece of candy on Christmas Day while bad ones would receive a lump of coal. So here are some things that deserve a helping of both:
A PIECE OF CANDY to the amazingly few who can spy a nest of mistletoe high in area trees to dangle over their sweetheart’s heads. And an extra point to the smart one who knows a shotgun filled with birdshot is a much safer way to get a sample than climbing the tree.
Don’t worry about ruining the most of the prize – just a sprig will take you a long way.
A LUMP OF COAL to the University of Georgia for firing the winningest coach in school history because he hasn’t bagged any of the big boys in several years. Mark Richt is as fine as they come and, when you win 75 percent of all your games over 15 years and go 9-3 this year, American values just took a beating.
A PIECE OF CANDY to any college in America that realizes the same thing LSU just confirmed by retaining embattled Les Miles – Mark Richt is one of the finest football coaches in America. With his payout from UGa, somebody lucky might land him at a bargain-basement price.
A PIECE OF CANDY to Alabama coach Nick Saban when asked if his success was why other coaches in the SEC are getting fired: “ … there are some guys that have done a really, really good job in their programs if you look at their record of graduation rate, things like that, and they win nine games and that's not good enough. I don't have any idea of what anyone's standard is for what they want to accomplish in their organization, what their expectation is. But I do think that there's a lot of negative energy out there sometimes for whatever reasons get created as soon as you don't have success."
A LUMP OF COAL to a Facebook post by superstar Sinead O’Connor’s possible suicide post. “When she posted, “I have taken an overdose … “ it immediately got 6,000 “likes” in an effort to let her know she is loved but Facebook is saying a meaningless mouse-click is no substitute for getting the depressed person what he or she really needs: help, this from the New York Daily News. “Time is anybody’s ally. The vast majority of people struggling with thoughts of suicide, if given time, can talk themselves out of the immediate crisis,” says Garra Lloyd-Lester of the Suicide Prevention Center of New York State. “Encourage them to reach out for help.”
A PIECE OF CANDY to Facebook for partnering with the Suicide Prevention Center. Here’s how it works: If you ever see any person who is hinting self-harm on a Facebook page, threatens self-harm on Facebook: “Hit the ’Report/Mark as Spam’ button on the upper right hand of the questionable comment, which appears after you scroll over the ‘X.’ Click the option to report, and select the ‘Violence or harmful behavior’ field and scroll down to “Suicidal Content.” Your report will instantly be sent to Facebook’s Safety Team.”
A LUMP OF COAL after a stunning front-page story in the Washington Post. The first paragraph read: “A (Post) examination found that 32 public schools in the five wealthiest conferences in college sports collected a combined $125.5 million in mandatory athletic fees from students in 2014, some of whom will never set foot in the stadiums or arenas.” My goodness, when will higher education’s values – not to mention ethics -- kick in?
A PIECE OF CANDY to the dazzling like of Bunny Jones King, one of the best athletes ever at GPS and Hollins, who died on Sunday. Perhaps her greatest accomplishments were at “Commons Camp” on Lookout Mountain where she taught dozens of kids how fun sports can really be, including me.
A LUMP OF COAL to the federal law that decrees Tennessee cannot legally prevent Syrian refugees from entering the state. The state’s attorney general, Herbert Slatery, has offered an opinion that “through the supremacy clause of the U.S. Constitution, federal law pre-empts any rules the state seems to put into place on refugees.” It would appear the same holds true in every other state that has prohibited refugees.
A PIECE OF CANDY to the Sealy mattress company that just completed a survey and found those who sleep on the left side were 9.5 percent more likely to have a good outlook on life and 8 percent more likely to enjoy their job and have good friends. And the right side? They are 7 percent more likely to wake up grumpy in the morning. Is research cool or what?
A LUMP OF COAL to the deer hunter who writes: “Looking forward to hunting season but I do have a question. If I shoot a buck, but I only have a doe tag, can I claim that the buck wasn't really a buck? I mean … maybe he'd always wanted to be a doe, but with no choice of his own he was born with the physical attributes of a male. And yet … on the inside he'd always known he was truly a female. I'm just wondering if the game warden will buy it, because society and the Supreme Court do.”
A PIECE OF CANDY to Oklahoma Wesleyan president OWU President Everett Piper who just told his students, “This is not a day care. This is a university … Our culture has actually taught our kids to be this self-absorbed and narcissistic,” he wrote on a blog. “Any time their feelings are hurt, they are victims! Anyone who dares challenge them and, thus, makes them ‘feel bad’ about themselves, is a ‘hater,’ a ‘bigot,’ an ‘oppressor,’ and a ‘victimizer.’” Now we are talkin’!
royexum@aol.com