Roy Exum: Don’t Insult Our Kids

  • Saturday, November 21, 2015
  • Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

Dr. Valerie Boaz and Kevin Lusk have approached the Hamilton County School Board in the quest to put up signs that say “No Smoking” in our schools. I am certain smoking has been prohibited at schools in Chattanooga for at least 100 years and I’m more than a little tired of people trying to foist their opinions on others when their only true objective is to make noise so the rest of us must scratch on behalf of their “itch of the day.”

Lusk, who identifies himself a chairman of the Tobacco Free Chattanooga Coalition, told the School Board that money is available for signs they can scatter all over the place.

But I tend to look at life in the same view as the great Russian writer Ayn Rand: “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”

Really, how many adults would you estimate gather on our school grounds during a given day to smoke? This takes ridiculous to a higher level. To put up “no smoking” signs in and around our schools is a blatant insult to our children’s intelligence and the prayer from here is that Dr. Boaz and Mr. Lusk would find something more productive to do rather than bore people.

Any idiot knows smoking is bad for you and today’s teenagers hardly need any some hand-wringer or his signs telling them what they already know. Pick any school, go there and pick any kid – they’ll tell you smoking is not allowed.

A far-better sign in our schools would be “No Sex.” This week we sadly learned a high school football star got into an altercation with the mother of his child. Dr. Boaz is a health officer with the Chattanooga-Hamilton County Health Department and I feel certain she has a stronger opinion about “babies having babies.”

We should also consider “No Drugs.” As I understand it, every high school in America has a problem with kids who abuse drugs. Drug addiction, as anyone on the school board will likely agree, is a lot worse than second-hand smoke and I’m thinking some Drug Task Force should approach the school board with the request to put up a bigger sign than the “No Smoking” sign because drugs are a bigger problem, right?

Then there is the “gluten” thing. I’d never heard of a gluten until a couple of years ago but it is the rage, so maybe if we made all the schools “gluten free” our test scores would increase. Nothing else seems to be working. The school board could create a “Gluten Free Coalition” that would be every bit as necessary and probably more effective as the Tobacco Free Chattanooga Coalition.

The Celiac Disease people could bring a slide show to the School Board to waste everybody’s time in the same way the Boaz-Lusk Road Show did earlier this week. I’m thinking the School Board members do not fully understand glutens and the effect the proteins in some grains have on less than one percent of Americans. Don’t be dissuaded – the only way you can get anything done in America now is to be less than five percent of the population. Where do you think unisex restrooms came from?

Speaking of glutens, let’s go to gluttons. The Health Department needs to put up signs in our schools that say “No Obesity.” Over one-third of Americans are obese while the guess is that just over 20 percent of Americans smoke –voila, obesity gets a bigger sign. The medical cost for obesity was $147 billion (with a ‘b’) in 2008 and today it is much higher. Think about it. Obesity is preventable and signs encouraging skinny should be in every cafeteria, right? Dr. Boaz was quoted as saying nine out of 10 smokers start before they are 18 but I have seen some fat babies less than a year old! C’mon, let’s address real issues.

As a matter of fact, let’s get real serious. How about “Please Don’t Kill Yourself”? Health professionals in every city are horrified that one in 12 of today’s teenagers have attempted suicide in the United States and it is getting worse. The rate has gone from 6.3 percent to 7.8 in just the last three years and I, for one, would let every kid in school carry a pack of Camels if I could be assured not one would attempt to take their life. I think a big reason is that we don’t talk to our young about mental health as much as we should. So, yeah, “Don’t Kill Yourself” goes over the principal’s door and teachers in every class should stress there are far better solutions no matter the pain.

Most kids dread going to the dentist, not to mention their parents, so “No Candy” in a no-brainer. “Curb Your Dog” doesn’t necessarily belong because the smallest child knows Lassie isn’t allowed. But the Freedom for Disabilities crowd believes “Service Dogs Only” needs a spot. On rainy days it only stands to reason we need a “Slippery When Wet” sticker on every door. There are some adults that still have never quite grasped that.

Remember those signs in hospitals where not-really-a-nurse is holding one finger over her mouth and below were the words, “Quiet Please”? Anybody who has ever been in a high school hallway as classes change know the corridors are so loud you can’t think. Thinking is important in school. Maybe the school board could hire a PR firm to design a “Quiet Please” but a picture of a nurse won’t do so I’m thinking this Kevin Lusk guy. He is the poster-boy for somebody who needs to be quiet.

The “Waste Your Time” coalition chairman is perfect after approaching our school leaders who have urgent matters to discuss. Please! A “no smoking” rule has been in effect since schools were first built. There is a saying, “Duct tape can’t cure stupid but it sure can muffle it.” The school board needs at least three rolls.

To paraphrase Ayn Rand: “The question is not ‘where do people like this come from;’ it is how do we get them to go back to wherever it is?”

royexum@aol.com

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