Are possessiveness, jealousy and greed the original three stooges? Not really. The words “possessiveness,” “jealousy,” and “greed” are often viewed by the majority of people as all negative qualities when displayed. But are they? In this column, as it is solely my opinion, agree or disagree, I am throwing the dictionary with its designated meanings out the window. Good thing it doesn’t have far to fall and won’t bruise its spine, just its ego.
Possessiveness. This is mine and you can’t have it; it belongs to me so hands-off. We all possess things, objects, and they are ours. Period. I don’t like anyone rearranging my belongings, truth be told. My domain is my safe haven, it is a reflection of the person I am and I don’t want it disturbed. It sort of defines me. Past and present. Many of us may share the same belief and it isn’t harming anyone else. But how about possessiveness in regard to other people, namely significant others. Is it wrong to be possessive? Right about now I’d be willing to bet many readers are internally, or perhaps externally, screaming the word, yes. It’s politically correct to say that even if we’re not wholeheartedly in accordance with the notion.
Let’s look at the term in another way. If we care about our families, friends, and significant others is it wrong to want to spend as much time with them as possible since we are only each other’s to borrow? Does anyone think the classic song “You Belong to Me” is offensive? I think it’s lovingly beautiful. When kept in moderation, as with most things in life, I think possessiveness may be healthy.
Jealousy. This is the destroyer of all that is good, could be good, and otherwise would be good. It spews resentment and hatred when it comes to material possessions. Jealousy begrudges others whom we perceive “have it better” than we do. It counteracts compassion, kindness, and wishing others well. It is a nasty monster that has remained undefeatable in society. Now let’s discuss jealousy when it comes to our love interests...boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives. I have firmly decided and will defend that this is the strongest emotion that we as human beings feel. Believing a beloved is interested in someone else or the other way around, even solely having that perception turns otherwise rational people into raging beasts. No-one likes to lose, not even a simple board game. When a person believes that he or she is being slighted or disregarded for another romantic interest, what occurs is the hurtfulness and feelings of inadequacy that tell us “we aren’t good enough,” “we don’t measure-up” to the newcomer on the scene. We are not attractive enough. We are not smart enough. We are not exciting enough. We are just not enough. And there you have jealousy at its finest and worst simultaneously. Yes, jealousy, the great destroyer.
Greed. “Wanting more” is commonly thought of as being the unstoppable compulsion to attain more and more and more. It doesn’t really matter what the object is. Money usually comes to mind, but it could be anything that drives us to feel insatiable and compels us to continue pursuing our acquisitions. However, greed can be good; it is actually good when used for good. Ambition and motivation manifest from greed; they are encouraged, rewarded, and seen as positive traits. If it weren’t for greed this world we live in, enjoying its countless finer pleasures such as luxury automobiles, vacation resorts, and advanced technology wouldn’t exist. No cell phones with Wi-Fi to Google how to outrun colossal dinosaurs and sprint back to our respective caves, right? Greed when utilized properly allows civilization to progress and benefits all of us. It’s when we allow greed to take over like ugly weeds in a beautiful garden it wreaks devastating havoc.
The intent of this article is not to try to push my beliefs on anyone else. It is meant to serve as my opinion as are all the other human interest articles I have written over the years. My aim is for readers to pause and reflect, individually processing what I write and arrive at their own thoughts, opinions, and conclusions. If I have accomplished this goal then I have reached my purpose.