Roy Exum: The Biggest Lout Of All

Saturday, January 19, 2013 - by Roy Exum
Roy Exum
Roy Exum

Between the decade of lies by Lance Armstrong and the guile of Manti Te’o this has been a colossal week for losers, but now we learn that both finish as distant runners-up to a lout of a lawyer in Egan, Minn. According to the website TwinCities.com, Thomas P. Lowe has emerged as the grand champion after it has been learned he had an affair with a client and – get this -- actually billed the woman for the time they spent having sex together.

If you think that Hollywood’s craziest writers couldn’t  concoct a wackier story, than the imaginary girlfriend who stole the Notre Dame football captain’s heart or embellish the cheating and fraud that famed cyclist Armstrong foisted on the world, just wait until you hear about the Minnesota Lothario who is now the ultimate lawyer joke.

It seems the 58-year-old Lowe was hired by a woman to represent her in a divorce trial and soon asked the client, said to be a long-time acquaintance, about her sex life with her estranged husband, commented on her attractiveness and asked if she might be interested in having sex with him.  About a month later an ill-fated affair began.

According to the news report, the attorney “billed the woman for legal services on the dates of their sexual encounters, coding the time as meetings or drafting memos.” As you might suspect, the two soon had several arguments “about the affair and his own marriage” and the attorney ended the personal relationship. Two days later he ceased being her legal counsel.

On that particular day the woman tried to kill herself. Unsuccessful, she revealed the tryst in the hospital and, when the Office of Lawyers Professional Responsibility got involved, Lowe denied much of the story but now, according to court records, “unconditionally admits the allegations.”

Lowe’s license has been indefinitely suspended and he won’t have a chance for reinstatement for one year, three months. It was also noted Lowe was placed on probation in 1997 for using cocaine and for purchasing the illegal drug from a client.

Moving right along, here are some other things we just noticed:

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FORMER NEW ORLEANS Mayor Ray Nagin, who received national notoriety for his antics during and after Hurricane Katrina, has just been added to the list of “The Mighty Who Have Fallen.” He was indicted by federal officials yesterday for bribery and fraud in the wake of a lengthy investigation that has already resulted in guilty pleas by city and business officials.

Nagin was an outspoken two-term mayor who, in the aftermath of the historic storm, angrily pounced on federal emergency officials by ordering them to get “every doggone Greyhound bus line in the country and get their (expletives) moving to New Orleans.”

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This week’s rage on the Internet is an anonymous note that was taped to the wall of a stall in a women’s restroom. Apparently other women leave notes on the restroom walls of a particular university and now the whole world marvels at what the anonymous contributor has left for other to read:

“TO THE GIRL WHO WAS RAPED: You are so strong. I cannot fathom the pain you must have gone through. The fact that you have the bravery to write it (even on a bathroom wall) gives me hope.

“TO THE GIRL WITH THE EATING DISORDER: I promise you, although I don't know you, you are beautiful, you deserve your health. You deserve freedom from that hell.

“TO THE GIRL WITH THE ALCOHOLIC FATHER: I am so sorry for the agony it must cause. Again, such courage is remarkable you must be such a strong person to see such pain.

“TO THE GIRL WHOSE FATHER DIED: Missing them never goes away. The ache of their absence never goes away. But the love they had, the memories you share surely must last. I am sure, out of the bottom of my heart, the people who have left you in this world are exceptionally proud of the person you are.

“Every time I see these walls, these confessions, I feel so blessed to know I have the privilege of seeing them. Your moments, these secrets, are all precious even though they are sad. To all of you (including those I did not mention, and those who have not yet written)

* -- You are worthy.

* -- You are strong.

* -- You are brave.

* -- You are loved.

* -- Somebody cares.”

* * *

THE BEST STORY of the week comes from Boston where there resides one particular gentleman who has a curious habit of anonymously paying for other people’s bills when he notices them as he dines alone. That’s right, Pankaj Shah – with the help of delighted restaurant staffs across the city – picks a couple “who looks to be the most in love” and discreetly pays their entire bill for the evening.

Not long ago our Mr. Shah entered one of his favorite places and the manager rushed forward to say that one couple –  who had been “chosen” three years before to the day – was also in the restaurant. “How do you know?” asked the patron and the manager said it was because the male had just proposed to his girlfriend. But then the story got even better.

The manager said that when he offered his congratulations, the happy couple explained that three years ago a total stranger had paid for their meal and that the expression of kindness and love had been remembered ever since. Because the restaurant had become so incorporated in their lives, they had waited until they were back in Boston on that very night to become engaged. Don’t you see, it was the young couple’s most hallowed memory, this random act of kindness?

As the wonderful story has gotten legs, the happy couple insists on remaining anonymous but there is a most reliable source who has just revealed that an anonymous gentleman -- who we now know to be Mr. Pankaj Shah -- has been invited to be a most special guest at an impending wedding.

royexum@aol.com


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